Jul 8, 2009
There are so many things that go un-said or un-talked about on our job from day to day. We see things that the normal person doesn't see. Sometimes we bring this stress home and it effects our personal life. We don't ever want to talk about the things that we see. What we have witnessed. I never said anything to anyone before because I always thought that they would think that I was a weak person. Not strong enough mentally to handle the situations that we encounter.
I for one have changed that! I do talk about the things I have seen and witnessed. I hadn't done that before 2006. Why you ask.. Its because I learned many things about myself that year and into 2007. I would like to say Ive seen it all, But I know deep down inside of me that there is always going to be something more horrific that may or may not bother me. It may even be little things that bring back memories of something that has happen in the past. All I can do is turn to the people who love me and talk with them about what Ive seen. How I feel. Do they understand, Not always but they do have that shoulder to lean to and cry on if need be.
There are very few people who understand the job of a Firefighter, Paramedic, Police Officer or EMT. Sometimes I always think to myself if they could only walk in my shoes for 24hrs and see what I have seen over the last 20 years. But I don't wish that on anyone. Is this job a calling? I think so! I went through a period where I didn't even want to be a firefighter. I wanted to be a Truck Driver. Then I wanted to become a Police Officer. I was then hired as a police officer but they didn't have the money to start the class that year. I look back now and I'm thankful I didn't become a police officer. I think I would be a totally different person. I can now say I would not want to do any other job than what I am doing today and That is a Firefighter. Stress or Not, I love my job!
If you know me personally, You know the one thing that bothered me the most. That was the Amtrak/Marc crash in February of 1996. There have been others but that is the one which sticks in my head the most. From doing CPR on a baby to cutting someone out of a mangled car. All of those incidents play a roll in how or what we become. Its makes us a stronger willed person in the end. Yes we all cry about the things we see but I always think about the people that we were able to help save. Its not all us that have that control in saving someone. It is our god who decides when our time has come. I'm just happy that I can help him save people! Make a difference in the way that they live. I know its changed me! It has made me a stronger person and When my time is called, I will be ready!
I was looking online earlier and I found this. Not the regular Psalm 23 but this one was written for Firefighters by Dr. George O. Wood. I wanted to share this and my feelings. :)
Psalm 23 for Firefighters
The LORD is my firefighter, he spares no effort to rescue me.
He runs to me when I am trapped by flames,
he finds me when I have lost all hope,
he carries me in his arms to safety.
He finds a path through smoke and fire,
unselfishly concerned for my salvation only.
When all exits are blocked and gone,
remains at my side unto death.
I will fear no evil
for you are with me.
Your presence and courage,
they comfort me.
You give me a chance to live again, to sit at table
with family, friends, and even my enemies.
You provide me a fresh start on life,
my joy knows no limits.
Surely goodness and mercy will follow me
all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.